Something may sound perfectly logical the first time around until you think about a possible counterpoint. Unfortunately, much of the public doesn't try to find a counterpoint to test the validity of a seductive argument. In an age of advertising you would think most of us would not fall for such tricks, but as it applies to religion sometimes the desire for a God is blinding.

Here's a simple paraphrased example of a seductive apologetic argument:
Look at a soda can. See how it is designed for your hand and that it has an easy to use pop-top to open up the contents for drinking. The opening is also just right for the contents to be poured into your mouth. Obviously this soda can was designed for human use. Well then, look at a banana. It fits in your hand and has an easy to use peeling method. Plus the banana fruit itself fits perfectly into your mouth. If the soda can was designed for human use, the banana must have been too. Therefore there is a creator.

That is a summary of a Way of the Master argument. On first hearing it--it sounds good! I mean, duh, the banana peel is perfectly designed to be opened by human hands. But then on second thought if God created the banana, what the hell was he thinking when he created the pineapple or if we're to be honest--the orange (I can never peel those things properly). In other words, the banana may be easy to peel, but there are a host of other fruits that are not. Science has also modified the banana and what you see in the grocery market is not necessarily what grows in the wild. Plus are we to eat items that are not designed to be peeled or self-contained? What about food we make or adapt to our needs? Why isn't all food self-contained? And as was pointed out on The NonProphets radio show, the banana is perfectly designed to stick into other orifices besides your mouth. Now, now, I know what you all are imagining you dirty bastards. And you there, get that banana out of there, no demonstrations.

Let's get back to The Cynic storyline. My character Sonja is caught by a Way of the Master camera and being that she's a liberal Catholic she's made to feel embarrassed that she is not more evangelical. I know some Christians are going to object to the anti-Catholic humor in The Cynic storyline but it does reflect a real sentiment. Protestant sects believe that Catholics, for the most part, are going to hell or are outside of God's true teachings. Sonja being Hispanic has a Catholic background and while not a staunch follower of the Pope does abide by a loose interpretation of Catholicism. So how does someone like Sonja defend herself from a literalist evangelical? Well, she may not have a good shot at it. An Evangelical will use her own faith against her--something I saw happen on the A&E show God Or The Girl where a young Catholic found himself in over his head with a fundamentalist Christian. That is why it is Kevin, a cynical atheist (and we can debate that stereotype at a later date), who has to come to her rescue. It's not that Sonja is completely helpless against a "Master," it's that she has a personalized belief system that cannot be proven or disproven which is easy for a literalist to attack. Because if you truly believe in God than he must truly exist and there must be rules that he has set down so why are you not following the Bible when it says this here and that over here? What it comes down to is a literalist annoying a person of faith who doesn't necessarily subscribe to everything in The Bible or to a literal interpretation of The Bible. An atheist, however, thinks the Bible is all hokum anyhow so they're happy to argue about it and even have some fun at the fundie's expense. After all, fundies can be annoyingly arrogant. Atheists can be arrogant too it's just that we normally back up our arrogance with facts and logic.


If you haven't read the comic strip storyline you can go here to see it...

This is a good time to explore the arguments in Way of the Master TV and Radio for Freethunk.net. Primarily these arguments and rebuttals are for freethinking newbies, since most old pros have been confronted with these arguments again and again as they are continually repackaged. This is not a complete course in apologetics, it is a drastically simplified version of apologetics for the unbeliever. It's up to you to become a Way of the Atheist Master through reading and debate. Or just sock a fundie in the face and spend a night in jail--NO-NO, I DON'T ADVOCATE VIOLENCE. I take that back. Atheist Masters are pacifists. We have to be, we're in the minority here in the US.

Way of the Atheist first starts with the realization that Way of the Master is simply a system no better than an infomercial sold to Christians who have hopes of being super-evangelists. Because of that, they will not be hearing your rebuttals or rather they may hear but they will not listen. Their actual goal is to:
1. Humiliate you. Make you admit that you are worthless.
2. Convince you by analogy that you need God.

That's it. It's really not much more complicated than that. While I believe the people behind Way of the Master are sincere in wanting to convert people to Christ, I also must commend them on a brilliant marketing strategy. One of their radio ads even claims that with their system you can make an atheist backslide within a certain timeframe. If users of The Way of the Master are using a system than you simply have to beat the system. Here is the main piece of advice I can give you in order to follow The Way of the Atheist:

So let's get into the ambush analogies. My goal here is to keep my rebuttals as simple as possible because let's face it, we freethinkers are a wordy bunch. We realize that not everything is as simple as it is made to appear and that debates can endlessly rage on. However, when you have a camera in your face you need to keep your answers simple so the audience will remember them. Long answers are forgotten when sound bytes rule the media. Now my grasshoppers, are you ready for The Way of The Atheist?

PART ONE: HUMILIATION TACTIC--You are a liar!
This is almost always where a Way of The Master representative starts. The idea of course is to get you to confess to being a bad person. Now if you are a bad person then maybe you should admit it. However, most of us are not. We're not perfect, but we're not liars and we are definitely not liars who are equivalent to murderers. To Way of the Master all sin is equal and thus we all need God to redeem us.

WAY OF THE MASTER ARGUMENT: Have you ever lied? Even as a child. If so that makes you a liar--for life!

ANSWER 1: If it is true that one lie makes me a liar, it is also true that one act of kindness makes me a kind person for life. I have done kind acts in the past, yet if I were to insult your looks and call your momma fat would you refer to me as a kind person in the present?
ANSWER 2: By your definition, yes, but in modern society that is not how we usually use the word liar. A liar is someone who continually lies or is caught in the act of lying. Not someone who has lied once in their childhood and never lied again or an adult who tells an occasional white lie to save someone embarrassment. All of us have lied, but not all of us are liars.
ANSWER 3: Lying is neither good or bad, it is amoral. In the past people have lied to save Jews from Nazis. And a white lie can prevent hurt feelings. I can be a good person and a liar at the same time.

CONTINUED ARGUMENT: But once a liar, always a liar. Look how we define the word "Murderer" in our legal system. Once you murder someone you are always a murderer.

ANSWER 1: Murder is permanent. You cannot bring a dead person back to life. Because of that fact, the legal system defines you as a murderer for life. This is not true with lies, even lies where you can be convicted. A lie does not have the permanency of murder.
ANSWER 2: If you are going to refer to our legal system than what good are your commandments? It is our legal system that defines a liar and a murderer, not the Bible or the Ten commandments.
ANSWER 3: If you are defining murder by our legal system than God is also a murderer. He murdered children and cute kittens and puppies in Noah's flood as well as not allowing for a trial for the adults. If you are going to say God is above our legal system than please do not refer to our legal system for your analogy in regards to lying or murder.