I'm sure many males, if they were honest, have fantasized about having multiple wives, or at the very least multiple lovers; but fantasies remain fantasies as long as they are not acted upon. Reality sets in when the male with his harem tries to figure out how he's going to have to pay for the living expenses of all of these women, including their children and all of the expectations of the American way of life. On top of that you have the in-fighting jealousies of one wife pitted against another which is only natural since women like to share their men as much as men like to share their women (no offense to swingers, to each his own you crazy freaks). And let's face it, society is not going to be kind towards any family group that goes against the grain--whether it is morally right or wrong.

The series features Bill Henrickson, as played by Bill Paxton, who lives in Utah, runs a successful chain of hardware stores similar to Home Depot, and is an upstanding member of the community. He comes home at night to 3 different wives living in three different homes that are tied together by a unifying backyard (that's 3 mortgages!). Bill is a polygamist who lives what is referred to by polygamists in general as "The Principle" or plural marriage. His first wife--and "First Wife" is truly first wife, a boss in any polygamous family--is Barb as played by Jeanne Tripplehorn, his second wife is Nicki as played by Chloë Sevigny, and his third wife Margene as played by Ginnifer Goodwin. Each wife in this series is very much an individual with their own quirks, opinions and problems--so individualistic that you have to wonder why they're not divorced yet.

I was originally impressed with Bill Paxton's movie Frailty which explores the subject of obeying "God's Calling" no matter what but Big Love outshines any work he has done in the past. This series is one every freethinker should enjoy. It is not propagandistic in its critique of religion, rather it exposes the flaws of religion through the flaws of the characters. Fact is, regardless if Bill Henrickson is a polygamist, he's the kind of guy I would have no problem sitting down to dinner with or throwing back a beer with; a very honest and sincere man trying to do what he thinks is right and, unlike most polygamists, he doesn't exploit the welfare system--he earns all of his money and pays for all of the expenses associated with being a polygamist. I'm not even sure as an atheist that I could tell him that his lifestyle is wrong because each of his wives made a conscious effort to join the family and was not underage or assigned to a husband. I could argue that Mormonism is a hoax perpetuated by a documented con artist but that really isn't a debate about the joining of 3 women to one man. Polygamists usually are religious but I could see an atheist being polygamous for one reason or another. We may disapprove morally and plural marriage may not be consistent with our current standards of men to women relationships, but from a legal standpoint I'm not sure it should be outlawed as long as it is consensual. What needs to be enforced are the anti-childbride laws where an old fart FLDS (Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints) prophet can marry a 14 year old girl. We as a society have decided on an appropriate age of consent for specific reasons (and without the help of the Bible which does not address age of consent laws). The main reason being that adolescent girls need to grow up before they embrace one man for all time. Even at age 18 most girls should do some living before hitching, but we allow them at that age to make their mistakes because let's face it we all make mistakes growing up and have to learn from them. That's where maturity comes from.

So I would be unable to condemn Bill Henrickson's lifestyle if everyone involved has consented and is of age. One could make the argument that there are children involved, but who's to say that children of polygamists are going to fare any worse than those of traditional marriages, it depends more on finances and the care of the parents. With the Henricksons they have financial stability and the parents are probably better than average (like I said, this is a fantasy). As a Dad Bill is the next best thing to a fifties family sitcom, an idealistic stereotype. He really loves his wives, his children and does his best to make sure they're happy. The real villain of this series heads The Juniper Creek Compound, the so-called prophet Roman; a 76 year old man with countless wives who apparently ousted Bill's Grandfather out of power and now rules by pretty much any means necessary. Not unlike the real polygamist cult-like leader Warren Jeffs, Roman owns everything, has vast sums of money and deeds, and drives around in a hummer. He can decide which man gets which wife, take any young girl he desires as his own wife, and even reassign wives if he becomes displeased with any underling in the community. Why the hell anyone would put up with this shit is beyond me, but if someone calls themselves a prophet I guess that means the community has been fooled into thinking that it is the same as God himself ordering them about.

So as I'm watching this series I'm rooting for Bill Henrickson. You would think that as an atheist and as a freethinker I would not be inclined to do so and might even be disgusted by Bill's religion and polygamous precepts. But I can see the gray. I can see the nonsense that Bill believes is far less harmful than the near dictatorship of Roman and the Juniper Creek Compound. Bill and his wives make their mistakes by choice and they are not judgmental against others who don't follow their beliefs. Fact is, because of their situation and because the LDS Church frowns on polygamy to the point of ostracizing anyone who engages in it, the Henricksons practice their beliefs in private and do not try to push their values on anyone. Unlike the door-to-door Mormons who anger Nicki so much in one episode that she begins yelling at them for judging her. The Henrickson wives are often confused about their roles and how they should feel towards each other and their shared husband, but that is something they have to work out for themselves. In the end they could even decide to separate and abandon polygamy altogether. And in this scenario, unlike most real polygamous situations, they are free to leave or stay. This is a far cry from Roman who dictates "The Principle" and controls his compound by threat of eviction, abandonment and possible violence.

HBO and subscription cable are the salvation of freethinkers who want programming that isn't dumbed-down, avoids religious issues or if in dealing with religious issues sucks up to the religious majority in order to maintain advertising sales. I'm thinking, that in secret, Mormon families might be watching Big Love and that maybe it will help jumpstart their thinking about The Church, maybe even do a little historical research. Admittedly the show has not been heavily critical of the LDS since the major hypocrisy is that Joseph Smith--their prophet and founder--started polygamy in the Mormon Church and said he was instructed to do so by God. The fundamentalist Mormons are correct in asserting that they are being true to Mormonism. Mainstream Mormons are just adapting their religion to the current moral climate and you can throw race in there too because Joseph Smith certainly didn't want any African Americans in his church either. How Mormonism can be true and yet change so much from it's original foundation is a mystery to me. Christians do the same thing (though they won't admit to it, only criticize the Mormons for doing it). Adaptation is essential for the survival of religion. In a way, that's what this fantasy is about. The adaptation of an outmoded way of living, that of plural marriage, which for most purposes does not work in a time when women are not dependent on their husbands and are increasingly career-minded. Religious polygamy dies a hard death because of secular society.

I'm still going to have fun watching the Henricksons take their best shot at making the outmoded try to work in modern suburbia. It's reality clawing at fantasy and battling for an idealistic life that in most circumstances is not possible.